It Takes a Village

My husband and I feel so blessed. When we made the announcement of our pregnancy on Christmas Day, we received an overwhelming response of support. It came through texts, dm’s, phone calls, advice, prayers, tears, and shouts of excitement. It also came from all areas of our life. Genuine love from both sides of our family, church community, sneaker friends, and blogging besties. I have thought to myself, “what an ideal situation for my daughter to be born into.” I’m very interested to see how this will affect her life.

She has her “village”, and I have already seen the benefits. I have seen a covering, protection. Don’t ask me how, but there have been moments when I knew people were praying for us. There were complications early on in the pregnancy that no longer exists. We were closely exposed to COVID that didn’t have an effect on us. And I am experiencing so much peace that is beyond understanding as a new mom. I believe it’s because of not just our own personal prayers, but the prayers that are coming from our community. I have also seen provisions — almost everything we have asked for Baby C. has been paid for.

But who says it stops there, as a newborn? I believe it takes a village to live your entire life effectively. As a full-grown adult, I’ve seen the benefits and challenges of living in community, and here are some things I have learned.

1. Your community may change depending on your season, and it’s OK.

   I use to be sad about this. I think it’s innate to want to bring everyone with you wherever you go in life. But the reality is, everyone has their own journey, filled with their own decisions and purposes. And it’s naive to think it would all lead to the same place. From my experience, when you give God permission to guide your life, that can mean anywhere…lol. And my husband I know it’s always best to yield. But with that yield also comes a sense of mourning of whatever that is left “behind.” God restores. I have seen Him restore double that I thought I have lost from following him. At the same time, I know there are people who are just irreplaceable. That’s why you remain grateful and present in every season.

2. Community takes effort.
   When I first started blogging, I knew I had to be intentional about networking. It took faith. I knew I had to put myself out there. Yeah, it’s awkward at times but completely normal, and honestly worth it. For me, I have made great friends. Friends that have been a source of inspiration and encouragement. And not only that, as I put myself out there, doors have opened for me. Doors that I’ve only imagined walking through. None of this would have happened if I stayed home, hoping for things to come to me.

3. Make friends outside of your “circle”, I encourage it.
   My husband and I have close friends that are from all walks of life. We have friends from church, from our work life, and even from our childhood, still. And not all of them believe the same things that we do. From that, we have gained a greater understanding and are learning from them, vice-versa. Most importantly, and this is the heart of who we are, how do you be a witness to someone if you’re always exclusive to the same ppl?

4. Family is family.

   I know family looks different for all of us. And our experience with our families varies as well. But for me, my family has always been constant. I think sometimes when things are constant, we take them for granted. So this leads to my sub-point, celebrate and honor the ones that have been there. I don’t think we value longevity and long-suffering enough. We are so impressed by instant success, instant anything. But you know what’s impressive to me? An artist who has been working on their craft for 20 years. A healthy marriage that has been intact for 45 years. And an unwavering faith of a barren couple who has been believing for a baby. That’s something I can stand on and trust.

5. Not everyone is meant to be a part of your community.

   I believe community is supposed to bring the best out of you. I am not saying it doesn’t come with challenges. I think it’s normal when you are in close proximity with someone, tough conversations and confrontation are imperative to have. (Hello, marriage!) It’s all a part of a healthy relationship. But I think you just know when you are giving more than you should. That is also why I give permission for the Holy Spirit to guide and give me discernment with ppl. Because the wrong relationships can get very exhausting and be a big waste of time!

Whether you are a newborn, a new convert, or a mature one. A healthy community is needed to be well-nourished. The things that I have, the opportunities I have received, the healing I have experienced — God has used my community to get me here. And I wouldn’t be where I am without them.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 The Message

9-10 It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough!

11 Two in a bed warm each other.
Alone, you shiver all night.

12 By yourself you’re unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.

-mal

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