Because of Him
Growing up, I had a hard time finding people I looked up to. If you ask me who I wanted to be like, I would draw a blank. My parents worked a lot when I was younger, but when I got to know their story and everything they overcame, my parents became my real-life heroes, especially my mom.
The people I look up to changes throughout the years, but as I get older, she continues to be my number one. Her resilience, courage, kindness, humor, patience, integrity, and reverence for God leaves me in awe. Currently, if you ask me if there is anyone else, one other woman does come to mind. She is a biblical figure, whose name is not even mentioned.
Luke 7:36-50:
36-39 One of the Pharisees asked him over for a meal. He went to the Pharisee’s house and sat down at the dinner table. Just then a woman of the village, the town harlot, having learned that Jesus was a guest in the home of the Pharisee, came with a bottle of very expensive perfume and stood at his feet, weeping, raining tears on his feet. Letting down her hair, she dried his feet, kissed them, and anointed them with the perfume. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man was the prophet I thought he was, he would have known what kind of woman this is who is falling all over him.”
40 Jesus said to him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”
“Oh? Tell me.”
41-42 “Two men were in debt to a banker. One owed five hundred silver pieces, the other fifty. Neither of them could pay up, and so the banker canceled both debts. Which of the two would be more grateful?”
43-47 Simon answered, “I suppose the one who was forgiven the most.”
“That’s right,” said Jesus. Then turning to the woman, but speaking to Simon, he said, “Do you see this woman? I came to your home; you provided no water for my feet, but she rained tears on my feet and dried them with her hair. You gave me no greeting, but from the time I arrived she hasn’t quit kissing my feet. You provided nothing for freshening up, but she has soothed my feet with perfume. Impressive, isn’t it? She was forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal.”
48 Then he spoke to her: “I forgive your sins.”
49 That set the dinner guests talking behind his back: “Who does he think he is, forgiving sins!”
50 He ignored them and said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”
I don’t remember crying much in my adolescence. I was always a positive, happy-go-lucky kind of kid. If I did cry, I think it was done alone, in secret. The reason could be cultural—religion def played a part. I grew up thinking tears equated to weakness. And putting your weakness out for people to see is rare. I think a big reason why I dealt with anxiety is because I felt the need to put my best self, even if it was fake, out there. And that’s exhausting, trying to keep up with something that God never expected you to be—perfect.
Now I cry all the time, lol. And it’s not all because of sadness, mostly it’s because of joy. When I read this story, I am kind of speechless, and at times feel like I can relate. She was so consumed by Jesus that her response was gratitude. It came in the form of weeping. I would think to myself, she never thought to ask for a napkin?? Instead, she used her hair and very very expensive perfume to wipe and dry the feet of Jesus. What I love most about this scene, she didn’t seem to care who was around her, speculating. Her level of boldness and humility is inspiring.
My past is not the same as this woman's. But I think we have a few things in common. I’m sure she questioned her worthiness. Her past probably held her back a few times. And she definitely put people and things before God. But here she is, at the feet of Jesus, forgiven. And I find myself there too.
I don’t care if I am 35, 42, 83, or 100. I pray that I continue to be at His feet, knowing that it is only because of Him that I have a chance. It is because of Him, that I live this life of abundance and freedom.
-mal
